Waning Moon
by mpg
Summary: Edward left Bella. Alice never saw Bella jump off the cliff so Italy etc didn't happen. When Edward came back to check on her, he found her happy with Jacob. What happens 70 years later when Alice gets a vision. *WARNING – Character death.* -COMPLETE
1. Waning Moon

**Chapter 1: Waning Moon**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. In this story Bella didn't dive off the cliff but Edward came back to check on her, finding her happy with Jacob. This short story kicks off 70 years later. I got the idea when listening to some of my old CD's - so "Forgiven, not forgotten" by the Corrs is the inspiriation. *WARNING – Character death* _

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My name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and I was born in 1901. I lived for seventeen years short years before the Spanish influenza epidemic hit. By rights, I should have died. I would have died, if it weren't for Carlisle. He was able to save me. By turning me into a vampire, he granted me a new chance and the possibility of an endless life. For the next ninety years, I existed. I was content, but always searching for an ellusive _something _that would make me feel complete. I had almost given up hope that there was something more when I found _Bella_.

For a few short but sweet months, I lived. I thrived and flourished; discovering how sweet and wonderful life could be. I was more human in those few months than at any other time in my existence. I experienced emotions that I had only ever read about, or felt through the minds of others. I loved, and was loved, more deeply than I had ever thought possible. But then I left.

I left; to protect her.

I left; to save her life.

When I left, I promised her that she would never see me again. I promised it would be as if I'd never existed. And for her, it was. I couldn't stay away. A few months after I left, I went back to check up on her. When I arrived, I found her laughing and smiling with Jacob Black. _Happy_. She had moved on, just as I meant for her too, but I couldn't help the fact that my heart felt torn in two at the sight them. I told myself that Bella was surviving, she was flourishing and thriving, and that was all that mattered. That was what I had wanted for her. I left without her ever knowing about my visit.

That was over seventy years ago. Since that day, I've walked the Earth alone; unfeeling and uncaring. My sun was gone so I became the creature of the night befitting my name. Nothing mattered to me anymore, because Bella was gone. But Bella was _happy;_ I could survive anything as long as I knew that. I spent so many years away from everything I cared about. I had curled into the ball in a derelict building It was nearly thirty years after I left Bella before I finally returned to my family. Even then, when I returned to my old existence I went through the motions but I was absent. More Zombie than Vampire. That was until yesterday. Yesterday was when it all changed. Yesterday was when Alice had her vision.

_Bella lying in a bed, breathing her last breath. Her heartbeat fading. Alone._

I couldn't let my angel, my light, my love, die alone. I recognised the view from the hospital window that I saw in Alice's vision. Apparently my Bella never left Forks.

My family was currently living in Saginaw, Michigan. I resided there with them, but I didn't live any more. The drive would usually have taken a day and a half, and I wasn't sure if I would make it in time if I took that option. I could probably have flown in a fraction of the time, but I wanted to drive. I wasn't sure what would happen in Forks, but I wanted to ensure my options remained open, so I wanted my own car. I decided if I pushed myself, I could probably make the trip in half the normal time. Alice offered to come with me, but wasn't surprised when I refused. It was hard to believe now, but there was a time when we were so close. We barely spoke anymore. Then again, I didn't speak to anyone anymore. Not since I left Bella. Not since the time when I still had life in me.

On the drive, I couldn't help picturing Bella's life with Jacob. A small-town life, in weatherboard house with a couple of children. Charlie watching over them all as a doting Grandfather would. I wondered whether Charlie was still with us. I doubted it. I wondered how long he'd been gone, whether Bella had a chance to say good-bye. Halfway to Forks, I wondered what I was doing. Why was I driving across the country to see the one person I loved more than anything, but the one person I swore never to see again. I was going to turn the car around when I remembered Alice's vision. _Bella. Dying. Alone._

I pushed the accelerator down harder but it did nothing. The car was already at its limit. If I pushed any harder I would break the car which would be counter-productive.

I couldn't quite figure out was happening to me. There were so many things awake in me that had been dormant for seventy years. I felt...well I _felt_, that was the difference. It had been so long since I had felt anything; cared about anything. Now all that mattered was getting back to Bella. Seeing her again. I realised I needed to see her smile one more time before I could rest. And rest I would. Seeing Bella again after so many years would be like oxygen after drowning. I would wait until she was asleep. I couldn't break my promise, not after so many years. I had to not exist anymore for her, but at the same time I had to be there for her during her final moments.

The night flashed by in a haze of lights, cars, road and Bella's face. Not the one I had seen in Alice's vision but the one that haunted my every step and had for the past sevent years. Bella smiling; forever eighteen. Her smile beckoned me home; toward Forks. Toward _her_. I had resisted the pull, the urge to run towards her, for so long. Now, at the end of her life I felt like I couldn't get there fast enough. Finally, I would see her face, smell that delicious scent.

Even after seventy years, I could remember her smell. I knew seeing her again was going to burn, but I was willing to accept the pain for another glimpse; even if she would never know I was there.

Finally, I felt like I was coming home. I entered Forks, travelling down a road ingrained deeply in my memory. A magnetic force pulled me toward the hospital; toward my love. I drove into the hospital parking lot, thankful that the morning had dawned with a heavy cloud cover. I walked to the front desk and asked for Bella's room. I charmed the nurse on reception, telling her I was a friend of the family.

After she gave me the number and smiled sadly at me. "Are you close to Bella?"

I nodded. "We used to spend a lot of time together. But I've been living out of town. I only just found out she was sick."

"Well, I am glad she has someone to visit her. She is so lovely and it's sad to see her so alone day after day."

"She's been alone?"

"She hasn't had any visitors since she was admitted. That was about three weeks ago now."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's just_ old,_ love. Her body is starting to shut down."

I nodded and headed to her room. I didn't even have to think about it, my feet just fell one in front of the other, pulling me in. Closer and closer.

I pushed the door open without knocking, peeking around to see _her_. My angel, the years were marked as lines on her face and yet she was as beautiful as the day I left her. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow. Asleep. She looked so peaceful. I breathed deeply of her sweet scent.

There was a chair in the corner of the room, I pulled it silently to rest next to her bed. I picked up her hand and held it between mine.

"Edward," she whispered, her voice frail and aged. "I've been waiting for you."

I was overtaken by emotion and could barely form words, I squeezed her hand as tightly as I dared. "How did you know I would come?"

"Alice."

I knew what that one word meant. She knew she was dying and had relied on Alice to see that and tell me. She knew that I would come.

"But how did you know...?" the question died on my lips.

"That you never really stopped loving me?"

I nodded. "You believed the lie, when I told you that I didn't love you, you believed me. I saw it in your eyes."

"I did believe it," she confirmed. "For so long. But about fifty years ago, when Charlie died, we moved the furniture out of the house. One of the cupboards snagged on a loose floorboard."

So she had found the photos and mementoes I left behind. Part of me hoped she would, despite the promise I had made.

"I hoped that you would come, one last time. To renew my memories so I can take you with me." Her breathing was laboured, I could tell it was an effort to keep up even this simple conversation.

"Is there someone I can get for you? Someone you want with you?"

"He's already here."

I looked around the room quickly. "Where?"

She chuckled softly, before coughing. "It's you silly. You are the only one I want with me."

"But what about a husband?" I asked desperately. _She was happy, she had to have been happy._ "Children?"

"I never had any of that. There was never anyone else for me."

"But I saw you, I came back to check on you about a year after I left and you were with Jacob. And you were happy."

"Jacob and I were happy for a time. Not like you and me, but happy enough."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story, one that involves wolves and legends."

I looked at her skeptically. "The wolves came back."

She nodded. "Jacob was part of the pack. We were together for about three months before he imprinted on someone else."

"Imprinted?"

"Like love at first sight, only much stronger. And irresistible. After he saw her, I was all but forgotten. We tried to stay friends, but eventually drifted apart completely."

"So there was no-one else?"

"You shattered my heart," she said it with no malice, it was just a simple fact to her now. "Jacob picked up the pieces and stitched me back together. When he left, he took the last part of me that was capable of love."

My heart broke. If I could have cried, tears would have been pouring down my face. I had spent seventy years away from my love, all so she could have a life. Leave a legacy. I never considered that in doing so I had damaged her so completely that she never could.

"I am so sorry. I..." I couldn't think of what to say. _How do you express seventy years of regret in a few small words?_

She nodded, I didn't have to say anymore. She understood my wordless guilt.

"You know, I would have loved you forever." Her eyes were sad, but remarkably she didn't cry. She had made her peace with all of this long ago.

I nodded, I did know. That was what had made the decision long ago so hard, balancing my desire to keep her forever against what was right. To let her soul move through life as it was supposed to so that she could go onto whatever sort of afterlife was waiting for someone as magnificent as her.

I could hear her heart was starting to race, and her breathing shallowed further. She was nearing the end. I leaned over and put my lips to her forehead one last time. Then I pulled her lips to mine. As it did once before, so many years ago, the heart monitor stopped beeping the instant my lips pressed to hers. Unlike last time, it didn't restart. The nurses came into the room at the sound of her flatlining, but there was no urgency in their movements. This was not a life-saving mission and there were no crash carts. They came simply to turn off the machine, to allow me time to say good-bye in peace. I pulled my Bella into a tight embrace and sat unmoving for an hour while my love lay cold and motionless in my arms.

Finally, I looked at my angel's face one last time. It seemed her last breath had taken so many years with it. She looked younger and carefree. A small smile rested on her lips. It was in that moment that I remembered all of my reasons for leaving her.

I pulled out my phone and rang the airlines to book a ticket on the next available flight to Italy.


	2. Waxing Moon

**Chapter 2: Waxing Moon**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. I decided to continue on with this story after getting some ideas planted in my head that wouldn't go away. I really liked the poignant ending of the previous chapter & I really hope this doesn't spoil it, but not that it is down on paper anyway I thought I would share. *WARNING – Character death & may be sad.* This is unbeta'd hopefully you will enjoy it _

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After arranging the flight to Italy via New York I flipped the phone shut. Suddenly I had a thought.

_Alice._

I changed my mind on my course of action. I rang the airline again and booked a flight from New York to Saginaw. My heart would remain true to its course but I couldn't allow my mind to have the same conviction. In my mind I was going home. It took an awful lot of energy to keep that conviction strong as I placed one foot in front of the other and left my love's room. No, she was not my love now. My love was gone. The magnetic pull no longer called me in. Nothing was keeping me here anymore.

During the drive to the airport, and then on the plane to New York, I allowed myself to spend time with Bella. Although I saw her face every time I closed my eyes, I had spent the last seventy years trying to avoid thinking about her too much. Each time I did I found myself half-way to Forks - racing back to see her again. Now I relived every small detail of those precious few short months that we had spent together. I pictured the way her hair used to fan around her head on the pillow while she slept. How she talked and sighed in her sleep. She gave away so much at night that she never guessed. I wondered what her dreams had been like for the last seventy years. Especially in the fifty where she knew I'd never stopped loving her.

My thoughts inevitably shifted toward the mistakes I had made. The fatal steps I had taken towards loving Bella. Towards allowing her to love me in return. Towards my hand in her unhappiness and death. The first was returning to Forks the week after I first met Bella, I shouldn't have. If I hadn't returned I never would have loved her. If I didn't love her I wouldn't have hurt her. I didn't care about my pain. I could stand to be in pain, but to know that my Bella had been alone and in pain for 70 years was a crushing agony that ran deeper than any other emotion, and would have run into the depths of my soul if I had one. Then I realised that if I hadn't returned to Forks, Bella would have been crushed by the van.

I decided that maybe that was my real mistake then, allowing myself to start talking to Bella again, allowing myself to get to know her. I should have stayed as a protector but remained aloof, allowing her to say yes to someone else. But if I hadn't started talking to her, would she have been at risk from James? If he had crossed her scent in town would I have known? Without me there to protect her he would have attacked her and would have succeeded. Most likely he would have drained her in her bed at night while Charlie lay sleeping in the next room.

Whichever way I looked at it, Bella's life would have been over at a very young age had I not been around. _But what had me being around done for her?_ Had I made the choice to trade her short, full life with a prolonged one devoid of love? In that instant I realised what my greatest mistake had been. Leaving her. I should never have left my Bella. I should have stayed with her and loved her. I should have been at her side, showering her with gifts until her life reached its ultimate conclusion.

When I arrived in New York I checked the flight details of the tickets I had. The flight to Michigan was due to leave half an hour after the one to Italy. I checked the clock, I had ten minutes to check-in to the Italy flight. I rang the house, Carlisle answered.

"Edward. Alice told us what happened. I'm sorry, son."

I couldn't speak so I just grunted.

"Are you on your way home now?"

I finally composed myself enough to talk, but my voice had no volume, no life. "Yeah. The flight leaves in a few hours. Where is Alice?"

"I'll just go get her for you."

I snapped the phone shut. Alice was still at home. That's all I needed to know. I raced towards the check-in counter for the Italy flight. I threw my ticket down.

"Have you got any baggage?"

"No."

"Business or pleasure?"

"Huh?" I was so anxious for this to be over with I was confused by her question.

"Is your trip for Business or pleasure?"

"Business. All business."

She smiled sadly, like she knew my type. I didn't waste any more time on conversation with her, I just grabbed my boarding pass and moved through to customs, running through the motions, uncaring and unfeeling.

I was too still as I waited in the lounge for the plane to begin boarding, I couldn't function enough to pretend to be human anymore. I didn't care if people realised I wasn't quite normal. I wondered if Alice was going to try to stop me. I had a big head start on her. She wouldn't be able to get a flight until tomorrow at the earliest now.

As I took my seat on the plane I almost smiled. I was headed home, towards oblivion. Towards nothing. But I would take nothing over the disappointment, the hurt, the constant ache that tore at me now.

I spent the plane ride to Italy planning what I would do when I reached Volterra. I briefly considered asking them for death. The problem would be that gave them an option to refuse me. I could not be refused, any delay would give Alice time to catch up. I needed her as far away as possible so she wouldn't be in danger if I needed to force their hand. I hoped she would realise the situation was hopeless and wouldn't even try, but I thought it might be too much to hope for.

I knew my decision would break Carlisle's heart, and Esme's. Sweet Esme, she didn't deserve it. But I couldn't fathom living an extended length of time with this hurt. With the knowledge that my Bella would never smile again. When I was away from her I thought she was happy. That knowledge dulled my pain, but now that knowledge was gone. I knew she was gone. I knew she had been unhappy and alone. I thought about my family and decided to write them a letter. I grabbed a pen and paper from the stewardess.

_I know that my decision is going to be hard on you all. But please try to imagine how I feel. All I ask is for each of you to look into your partner's eyes and imagine a world without them. Then imagine knowing that you caused them nothing but pain and heartache. That you caused them to suffer for seventy years. Ask yourself how you would feel. Hopefully that will help you to understand my decision. I pray that with understanding will come acceptance. I love you all terribly but I cannot exist in a world that is devoid of Bella. Please know that this is truly my choice and please do not try to avenge me or stop me, I do not wish any of you to be hurt because of my foolish decisions._

I folded the paper up and put it in an envelope. I wouldn't need to send it. Alice would have seen everything I wrote. Hopefully she would pass the message onto the others.

As the plane began its descent I began to plan the best options again. The pilot announced that the local time was 5:00am and the sky was clear. That gave me an idea. The sun would rise in a little under two hours. If I walked through the gates of Volterra in the sunshine the Volturi would have reason enough to finish me off. It was simple, elegant and ensured no-one else would be hurt in my quest for oblivion.

As soon as I was off the plane I tried to hire a car. The lady behind the counter gave me a strange look. "I'm sorry sir, but this credit card has been cancelled."

_Damn. I forgot about Alice._

But surely she didn't think a little thing like that would stop me. I ran to the long-term parking and stole a car. I drove as fast as I could towards the end. Racing against nothing but my own longing for oblivion.

On the final leg of my journey, the sun rose bright and hot over the horizon. I parked as close to the gate as I could. The shadow of the gate reached right to the door of my car. I stepped out into the shade. A few steps more and I would be in the sun. I listened to the thoughts of those nearby. There were enough witnesses that I would not go unpunished, but not enough that I would cause a riot. I waited until I could hear what I was searching for. I needed to know the Volturi guard was near.

I waited for half an hour before I heard the mind of a vampire not too far away. I unbuttoned my shirt, closed my eyes and stepped out. My eyes were still closed when I felt something solid smash into my side, and the heat of the sun leave my skin. When I opened my eyes, I found my face was covered with some sort of material. It was thick but I could still see vague shapes through it. I was in shadow, being roughly handled. I was pushed into a small dark hole. I felt the floor disappear underneath me, but I couldn't care. I was glad for what was coming soon. I knew it was inevitable, the rest I could deal with, as long as it ended in oblivion.

I was thrown onto the floor but remained in a kneeling position. I had no desire to stand. The cloak over my head was torn off and I found myself in a circular room. It reminded me of a castle turret, then I realised it probably was. In front of where I kneeled there was a raised platform which held three ornate gold thrones. The rest of the room was sparse. There were four vampires in the room with me, one well muscled one stood next to me with his hands on my shoulders. He was applying just enough pressure to keep my down, not that it was needed. I had no plans to move from this spot, ever. There is only one way they could get rid of me now. An aged vampire, with chalky skin stood in front of me, I recognised him as Aro from the paintings in Carlisle's study. Behind him were two small figures who looked very young and could have passed for twins.

Aro scowled at me before speaking. When he spoke he did not shout, but his voice was all the more menacing for it. "You dare flout the rules, and in my own city. Tsk Tsk. At least Felix here was nearby and was able to limit the damage."

He indicated the vampire who was pushing on my shoulder. I could have argued that I knew Felix was there, but that would've defeated the purpose of my visit.

Aro spoke again. "Well, now that you have our attention. Why don't you tell me who you are and what you desire."

"My name is Edward, and I have come for death." I kept my eyes low and refrained from adding 'Cullen', I knew he would recognise my diet choice in my eyes and know I was part of Carlisle's family. I wanted to keep them safe, keep the Volturi away from them. I just hoped he wouldn't touch me, I knew enough about the Volturi to know that Aro shared my gift of mind reading, but with a difference – he required touch but could see every thought you had ever had.

"As you wish." He indicated to Felix to proceed, but as he did I lifted my eyes in a silent thank-you. He gasped when he saw the colour of them. "Wait."

Felix had just put his hands to my face but moved them swiftly back to my shoulders with that one word.

Aro stared at me. "What coven do you belong to? Where did you come from?"

I selected my words carefully, "I am from America. I belong to no coven."

"How did you come across your unique diet and don't lie to me, because I will know the truth." He held out his hand and took a step forward.

I sighed. "Carlisle Cullen showed me this lifestyle."

"Carlisle? My old friend. Do you know him well?"

"Well enough."

"Why did he show you this life? Why did you follow it?"

I could hear in Aro's thoughts that he was going to get this information out of me one way or another anyway so I told him the truth, or most of it anyway, "Carlisle was my creator. He found me dying in 1918 and changed me to what I am. Since then, I've committed to his lifestyle and have lived as a member of his family. But I have left that family now." I wanted that point to be clear. They had no part in what I was doing now and would have stopped me long before now if I had given them a chance.

"How is he? Obviously he is still committed to his aversion to our natural food source?" Aro asked the question as if he wanted an answer but laid his hand on my forehead instead of waiting. I saw everything flash past his eyes, every member of my family. And my Bella – permanently woven into my thoughts, into every part of who I was for the last seventy years. I saw all the memories of our time together, every thought I ever had about her, my selfish desire to have her join me in immortality warring with my better side who wanted her soul to move on. I saw the look on her face when she first met me. The smile on her face in the meadow when I first revealed the full truth of what I was. The crumpled look on her face when I told her I was leaving. I saw and felt all my emotions again, but they were magnified, doubled. It was too much for me to handle I broke down, my strength was gone.

Aro's voice was full of pity and confusion. "This girl, this women? You loved her?"

I nodded, as my breathing hitched into violent, tearless sobs.

"Why did you not just turn her? Are you so ashamed of what you are?"

I nodded again. "I couldn't condemn her to this life."

"This makes my judgement harder, I don't want to do anything to strain old friendships."

"Carlisle won't mind. He will know this is my decision."

"You and I both know he _will _mind, even though he knows it is your decision."

I looked at him, determination blazing from my eyes. "If you do not do it now, I will continue to break the rules. I have no regard for my life or my kind. What do I care if humans know about vampires."

He nodded. "I knew you would say that. I am sorry. You could have made such a great addition to our team here."

I hissed at him.

"Because of old friendships though, I will do what I can to make this easier."

I was aware of a mist creeping towards me. I didn't fight it. As it hit me I lost my senses, turning off one by one. I felt...nothing. It was a welcome relief to the pain that had haunted me the past few short days. And it was more absolute than the nothingness I had wondered in for the past seventy years.

It was only at the last moment I felt anything. In that instant, I could feel the flames that surrounded my shattered body. Then a strange sensation took over, I was aware of the flames but they no longer burned. I was whole again, resting in the cold fire. I opened my eyes to see a hand extending into the fire to help me stand and pull me out. It didn't belong to any of the vampires that had been in the room with me.

As I clasped the hand, I felt freedom. I felt home. I was pulled out of the fire and I looked upon the face of my rescuer and gasped. It was my personal angel, come to rescue me from the fire.

My Bella. Young, beautiful, mine. Forever.


End file.
